I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
