There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
