just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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