I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
