yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Naked. naked and bneed help.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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