4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Randomize
