But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
There was a lot of him and a little penis
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
