You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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