careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
They are going to name an STD after you.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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