so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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