I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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