I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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