I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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