I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize