Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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