She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
