We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
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