Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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