she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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