11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
