i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
