All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
