And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize