the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Randomize
