She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
