theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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