Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
