Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
