I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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