I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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