who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Who died my cat blue again?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
