took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
