Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
