Swine flu. Run for my life!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
