I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
