im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize