Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
