I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
