You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
