Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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