i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize