Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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