I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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