Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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