Your tits are I can't wait for
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
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trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
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Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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