We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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