Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
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Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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