I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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