and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I just googled if crying burns calories
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
