awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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