I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
