Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
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