dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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