Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
