if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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