Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Randomize
