dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I said "one day" and that day is not today
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
