Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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