that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
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If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
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He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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