This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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