Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize