the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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